Stay at home Dads – Fair game?


Stay at home Dads are no longer a laughing stock. In fact, they are more common than most would think with 1 in 7 families now having Dad as the primary carer, while Mum heads out to the office. The collapse of the gender pay gap -women under 30 now earn more than men and older women are usually only paid less if they take time off to bring up families – means mothers are highly likely to have fatter pay packets than fathers, making it more economical for some Dads to stay at home. As figures are now 10 times higher than back in the 90’s, with 2012 reaching record highs of Dads holding the fort, we ask; does this make these Dads an irresistible target for other women?

Seeing a man with a baby or a puppy is like an aphrodisiac for women, and as Hugh Grant discovered in the movie, About a Boy, while trying to gatecrash a single parents meeting; women like men who are good with children. A male showing his sensitive side sets him apart from regular guys, making the female heart soften while reassuring the ladies that he could surely understand her needs better than most males. So imagine then, the excitement when a fresh Dad walks into a playday with his kids; it’s a Diet Coke moment. What do have here? A man, a father, a carer happy to relieve his wife of some parenting duties? What a wonderful man! These ladies are seeing Mr Stay at Home at his absolute best. You can imagine women huddling together delighted to discuss the handsome new comer with a Desperate Housewives vibe filling the air.

And how do men feel with their newfound fame? The attention must be flattering, and the interest in seemingly mundane tasks mothers have to perform is met with female praise making him suddenly, the best thing ever. Even the most loyal of men would miss this spotlight thrust on them if it were taken away, surely?

Illicit Encounters member *Jeff, tells us his story “ When I was made redundant from my job, my wife and I decided that rather than continue to pay the high rates of child care for our two daughters, I would stay home and look after them while I figured out my next move. My wife has a very good position as an account manager at a top advertising agency, and as a career lady she was not looking to be a fulltime at home mum. I took some time to adjust to my new role, and after a while I felt confident enough to mix with the other parents – who were mainly mums at play dates and coffee mornings. I noticed instantly that the women were different around me, flirty and some openly suggestive – it was almost like I was the new kid at school. I was aroused and excited at the attention, who wouldn’t be? I have a great relationship with my wife, but like many marriages we have become more like brother and sister over the years, and the romance had somewhat disappeared. I felt very tempted and sometimes I had to stop myself from flirting back, but I found myself wanting the attention. At that point, I decided to join Illicit Encounters. There’s no way I would ever get involved with one of the women in my circle – that would be ridiculously stupid, and also risk the embarrassment of my whole family if something were to become public. On the website I just like to chat with women, and yes flirt a little – it gives me the same high that I discovered through my new role, but without anyone getting hurt. I’m also learning a great deal about females just by talking to different women, and I feel this is benefiting my marriage positively”

*Jeff’s story is not uncommon as recent research tells us that 1 in 5 men feel less of a man when they take up this traditionally female role. Feeling they are somehow playing second fiddle to their wives is not an easy transition for some, meaning the attention from other women can help re-establish their power as a man and reassert himself into his new found society as a key player outside of the home once again. While some working Mums are grateful to their stay at home partners, the temptation to emasculate them is also strong and requires a fine balance between gratitude, and remembering the change for some men needs as much attention as their hard earned careers.

The UK’s Leading married dating website is the UK’s largest and longest running dating site for married people. With over 800,000 members across the UK, you’re sure to find your perfect match.

Established in 2003, we have been providing a meeting place for like-minded married and attached people for nearly 10 years. Our members have one thing in common – they are all looking for a little romance outside their current relationship. Whether that’s the occasional bit of flirtatious chat, a regular coffee date, or a full-blown affair, that’s up to them.

For comments, case-studies or more information contact Mike Taylor:


Mobile: 07584 435116

Office: 020 7953 7167

Twitter: @illicitmike

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s