Don’t get mad, get even – how a third of women cheat in revenge after their partner strayed previously, according to a new survey

* A quarter of men ‘revenge cheat’ after discovering their lover has been unfaithful;

* The vast majority of revenge cheaters (82%) feel justified in having an affair to ‘get their own back’ on lover’s betrayal;

* Big rise in revenge cheating since the end of lockdown as new freedoms spark a surge in affairs;

* Results are from a new survey of 2,000 people by, the UK’s leading affairs site

A third of women cheat in revenge after their partners previously strayed, according to a new survey

Slightly fewer men (26%) also ‘revenge cheat’ to get their own back from an earlier betrayal.

The vast majority of revenge cheaters (72%) said they felt justified in having an affair because their partner erred first.

More men (54%) than women (48%) are likely to own up to a revenge affair to show their partner the error of their ways.

The most common way that people revenge cheat is through meeting a new partner on a dating website or app, chosen by 42% of respondents, followed sleeping with a former lover or friend (28%), contact through social media (12%), a work romance (10%) and a pick-up at a bar or club (8%).

There has been a 12% rise in revenge cheating since the end of lockdown as the new freedoms sparking a surge in affairs. The results are revealed in a new survey of 2,000 people by, the UK’s leading affairs site.

Being caught did not stop 44% of cheats from carrying on seeing a lover, despite telling their partner the affair was over.

The survey found that less than a quarter of people (23%) end their relationship after discovering an affair.

Far more (30%) stay with their partner and then get their revenge by having an affair of their own.

The survey found that a third of couples (32%) used lockdown to make a fresh start while stuck at home together for 18 months.

That involved confessing to a past fling for 13% of women and 10% of men. sex and relationship expert Jessica Leoni said: “Revenge cheating has never been more popular.

“More people are taking the view: don’t get mad, get even, and concluding that the best way to get over an affair is not by being a doormat and accepting it but by getting out there and avenging it.

“The last two months have seen a surge in revenge cheating as people who have discovered past betrayals during lockdown and used the new freedoms to get their own back.”

IllicitEncounters has enjoyed its busiest month for new registrations in a decade as unhappy spouses use the end of lockdown to have some fun.

Another factor in the surge has been Health Secretary Matt Hancock’s affair, with men in particular encouraged by him cheating on his wife to seek a new relationship.

Every day around 30,000 people are having an affair on IllicitEncounters and more than a million people have registered with the site since it was launched 18 years ago.

Top 5 ways people revenge cheat

1 Seeking new partner on a dating site or app

2 With a former lover or friend

3 Connecting with a new partner through social media

4 Work romance

5 Pick-up in pub or club

Case Study

“Sex with the ex was even better the second time round:” rampant bar manager Chloe bedded the boy she lost her virginity to 15 years later

* The randy pair were reunited after meeting on, the UK’s leading affairs site

A rampant bar manager has told how she bedded the boy she lost her virginity to 15 years later – after they were reunited on a cheating site.

Chloe, 30, from Stevenage, Herts, was keen to have an affair after the sex in her long-term relationship went stale after the birth of her two sons.

And she was stunned when she went looking for a ‘bit on the side’ on, the UK’s leading affairs site, to discover her first love Paul, 31, was also trying to cheat at the same time.

Chloe said: “I messaged him immediately and said: ‘Fancy seeing you here! What a small world.’

“He got back to me in minutes and within an hour we were arranging to meet up at a hotel for sex.

“We were both curious to see how we had each changed and whether the sex would be as good the second time around.

“Well, I can confirm that it was even better – we had both learned a few new tricks since we were at school!

“It was great seeing Paul again after all these years and we slept together a few more times after that first encounter but we split up the first time for a good reason and we knew we didn’t want to leave our partners for each other.

“Having an affair was much more fun and had no consequences for our partners and our children.”

Chloe had settled down with security manager Ian, 34, the man she dated after splitting with Paul.

She said: “Paul was my first love and we fell in love at school and were both virgins when we first made love.

“After that, we were rampant for the next two years and I had the best sex of my life with him.

“We split up after leaving school when Paul went to university and I pursued a new career working in pubs and clubs.

“Paul moved abroad and I thought I would never see him again.

“I met Ian and decided to have a family.”

Everything was fine with Ian for ten years before things got boring after they started a family.

Chloe said: “The relationship became a bit of a slog and we both stopped making the effort.

“Ian put on weight and I stopped fancying him. I didn’t want to split up the family but I did want the excitement of a new relationship.

“I went on IllicitEncounters the first time a couple of years ago and ended up having a year long affair with an insurance manager.

“He was stuck in a sexless marriage, too, and we had a lot of fun.

“I took a bit of break when we split up and Covid happened and then went back on the site to discover Paul was back in the UK and looking to cheat.

“Since we split up the second time, I have been seeing another man who works in IT. It suits me to have affairs and not get heavy with anyone.”

NOTES TO EDITOR is the UK’s leading dating website for married people and the leading authority on infidelity. With over 1,000,000 genuine UK users since 2004, you’re sure to find your perfect match.

Established in 2004, we have been providing a meeting place for like-minded married and attached people for nearly 12 years. Our members have one thing in common – they are all looking for a little romance outside their current relationship. Whether that’s the occasional bit of flirtatious chat, a regular coffee date, or a full-blown affair, that’s up to them.

Check out what our users are saying to each other in our live Lockdown Forum:

Username: pr
Password: openthel0ck4me

We’re always more than happy to talk about – please contact Christian Grant through the details below – but we’re not willing to speak publicly about at this moment in time.


Mobile: 07824 353986

Twitter: @cheatsafer

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